IN MY OPINION...
My "Official" Response to the Good Morning America Segment - April 2009
I was proud to represent all the strong, dedicated StepMoms, who work to create loving and healthy relationships within their families, on a recent Good Morning America broadcast.
The title of the segment "When Stepparents Get Too Involved" illustrates the challenge many StepMoms face everyday in walking a fine (and undefined) line. Too far in one direction and a boundary may be crossed. Too far in the other direction and they may be labeled cold or uncaring. For many StepMoms, it is a balancing act that often feels like a no-win situation.
My objective during the interview was to demonstrate that StepMoms can empathize with, and need not be positioned as inherent adversaries against, mothers. Because over half of all women in the US will either marry or live with a man with children, it would benefit everyone -especially the kids this impacts- for the media and society to start reframing old our perceptions and stereotypes.
I hope that GMA and other media outlets will see the opportunity that lies ahead and continue to report about the unique dynamics that exist within stepfamilies. The landscape of the "typical" family has changed and a four-minute segment can only scratch the surface of this highly relevant topic.
Regardless of what anyone thinks about Gisele Bundchen's comments, I'm grateful to her for getting the conversation started. These issues affect millions of people. Keep talking America.
Brenda Ockun
Publisher
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Enough With Cinderella Already - March 2009
Loch Raven High School in Maryland recently announced it will be performing their annual Spring Musical: Rodger and Hammerstein's Cinderella, next month, in the school's auditorium. Promotional materials for the show state: "The production has been a huge undertaking for this year's talented cast of students ranging from 14-18 years old." And continue on to say: "The story of Cinderella concerns a young woman forced into a life of servitude by her cruel stepmother and self-centered stepsisters, who dreams of a better life. With the help of her Fairy Godmother, Cinderella is transformed into a Princess and finds her Prince."
Here's the part that bugs me...'The Director comments, "The students at Loch Raven High School have brought this beloved and timeless fairy tale to life. With their hard work, dedication, and tireless effort, they have proved, yet again, that when you believe in yourself, impossible things can happen."
Did he really say that this story is beloved and timeless? Timeless?
I beg to differ and here is why:
* It is estimated that there are currently 15+ million StepMoms in the US today.
* Over 50% of all first marriages will eventually end in divorce.
* Of those divorced, approximately 75% will remarry.
* About 65% of remarriages involve children from the prior marriage and form stepfamilies.
These ARE different times.
* StepMoms today are a far cry from the stereotypical "wicked" StepMom and can often be found supporting their stepkids at their soccer games, band concerts and parent-teacher conferences.
* StepMoms today strive for healthy relationships with their stepkids and seek out information from books, support groups and on-line resources to be better in their role.
* StepMoms today can be found working with biological moms to co-parent children whose reality includes 2 homes.
Unfortunately, many StepMoms (and stepfamilies) today still deal with stigma, criticism and Cinderella stereotypes that some people won't let go.
It's time to look at America's families in a new light.
Cinderella and her Wicked StepMom? Nothing timeless about them in my opinion.
Brenda Ockun
Publisher